When thrown into the first lockdown last year, I decided to do something I’d been thinking about for a long time.
I decided to volunteer at the UK-based mental health charity Mind.
I’d always felt slightly guilty about not giving back. Having had my own experiences with poor mental health — and having run my own mental health blog ‘Blognitive Therapy’ for some time — I thought perhaps I could help out.
The role was calling a few people a week, and having a chat with each of them for an hour or so.
Some people were just lonely, and…
Competition is healthy. At least that’s what we’re told. But so often we aren’t taught just how to deal with out competitive sides.
Unless trained, another person doing better than us in our chosen field is apt to drive us wild with frustration.
There is of course the sports mentality. But it boils down to this. Be better, jump higher, run quicker.
When it comes to actual real-life competition, it rarely is so simple. People the world over push themselves to an early grave trying to beat their competition. Whether that grave is for themselves, or their business, it depends.
Meeting the world with an open mind is a good thing, usually. But when it comes to dating, it can open up whole cans of worms.
And those worms can quickly burrow under your skin, causing trauma.
That might seem alarmist, but we have to be realistic here. Dating involves allowing other people into your life — and often your heart, with little background information.
When we take time to weigh up the pros and cons of dating someone, we are dismissed as ‘too picky’. As though everyone should just see how it goes, because “you never know”.
When set adrift
In a sea of luminous faces
Joined hands and lingering hugs,
You hide your face from me
Drift past Leave gaps
A silence less golden
Than anything left
In this material world.
Dirty and shameful
Empty and pointless
A gift of misunderstood
A desolate wasteland
When an answer is all
Some sort of closure
This will not come to
Who will never be
I have chosen to hide
My face from you
But truth comes from
An empty bottle, and
Again, I wear
I don’t want to get all TLC on everyone’s ass (a la No Scrubs) but I think it is time.
When I had a bad breakup in 2019, I made myself a playlist called ‘Bad Bitch’. I filled it with songs by female artists. The unofficial rule was that I could only fill it with empowering feel-good songs. I also ruled out any songs about men. And songs written or sung by men.
I love this playlist. I still do. It leaves me feeling strong and happy. I run to it, listen before a night out. I’ve used it to…
Self-help is a big market. Like you, I’ve felt the pull of varying authors proffering a solution to life’s big questions. I’ve spent much time and money devouring those words, and felt the creeping overwhelm that comes with information overload.
All we’re really looking for is something that cuts to the heart of what it means to live!
No morning routines or complicated plan. Just simple and easy ideas that help galvanise the mind and boost confidence.
You want lightening-bolt moments and eye opening wisdom, right? You want chapters that can be dipped into, again and again. You want words…
Freedom is a very interesting thing. It can give us a sense of autonomy, a feeling of great power. But, sometimes, it has the power to set us adrift. And I’ll wager you have flipped both sides of the coin, right?
Before I met my partner, I was a walking contradiction. I wanted to be free, roaming my own way. I also harboured a desire to meet that special someone who has my back, understands me, and wants what I want from life.
I’ve hurt people, I’ve been hurt. And I never quite figured out which side I would rather…
It is like, you wake up,
And everyday revive yourself.
With other peoples words,
Your own thoughts. Rituals.
You place the pieces back together
Work on it. Time and again,
This isn’t a job that you asked for.
And you know there are people out there
Who wake up with a clearer image.
Who don’t need to talk themselves down-
Talk themselves up.
But this is your job, so you take it
Sometimes it helps to talk
Other times it feels like this pain
Is private. To ruminate
Gives you freedom to dwell
Within the parts that need…
Jealousy means you’re human
But not human enough
It means living beyond your dreams
Is way too much, too tough
It means spitting bile on others thrill
With rising panic sounding shrill
Piercing rage like tinnitus
Fight or flight thrown under a bus.
A sluggish, hibernating bear
Warning you not to try,
Don’t reach for the great wide out there.
Yes jealousy sticks in the roots
Grows thick if you don’t cut it out
Infects the soul with sickness
grinds the bones like gout.
Feeble, facile, futile Revel in the power to shred The plans of those who…
From simple facts to hard truths.
So often, we neglect to talk about how to care for a depressed or anxious person when at your wits end. How do you both show up for that person, whilst also showing up for yourself?
Sometimes caring for someone who is struggling with their mental health can be a drag. It’s not that you don’t care, or that you’re ‘bored’ of their behaviour. It is frustration, at the constancy or intensity. Perhaps you don’t know what to do or say anymore. So you show your feelings in unhelpful ways. …
Founder & Writer at Blognitive Therapy. Deeply committed to psychology, movement and mental health awareness. Fascinated by pretty much everything else.