Meeting the world with an open mind is a good thing, usually. But when it comes to dating, it can open up whole cans of worms.
And those worms can quickly burrow under your skin, causing trauma.
That might seem alarmist, but we have to be realistic here. Dating involves allowing other people into your life — and often your heart, with little background information.
When we take time to weigh up the pros and cons of dating someone, we are dismissed as ‘too picky’. As though everyone should just see how it goes, because “you never know”.
After publishing the very first article on my very first Medium publication, I wanted to say a little more. To make my mission statement a little clearer.
This is about a dead blog, yes. But this is more about my refusal to give up on something I see value in. And A call for writers to join me in talking candidly about their experiences with mental health.
I wrote this story, about being my authentic self around three years ago. It was the first article I wrote for my shiny new blog.
The title, you ask? Why, Blognitive Therapy of…
Just ten minutes to turn it around
I sit there, tears streaming down my face as I tap my index finger on my cheek. Just below my lower eyelid. I recall all the reasons I am not good enough. Why I don’t start the projects I want to. What is stopping me.
Because I am not perfect, and never will be.
All the formative moments that have lead me to this place crowd my aggrieved mind. I sob in staccato ripples.
This isn’t just a random Wednesday lunchtime breakdown. No. I have been asked to recall these moments, and feelings…
Come join me, let’s just be real
“You will have to be completely honest. You will bare yourself, and all of your feelings. Otherwise what is the point? Be fucking authentic!”
~ Clementine Lloyd (to herself)
Here I am. The swear-y, punchy hippy. The random smash of different interests, moods, and outlooks. It is like ‘Watch with Mother’ has been cunningly cut together with ‘Withnail and I’. Maybe a bit of ‘Sex and the City’. Not the good bits. Just the bits where Carrie gets all self-referential and makes sweeping statements.
Being authentic is difficult when you change dramatically from…
Many have speculated, did Meghan and Harry do right in sharing their story. Did they ‘air their dirty laundry’? Were they picking up on tiny things and making them overblown? Is Meghan vindictive and scheming?
Maybe. And honestly we will never know the full extent of the truth — from either side.
But what we can be sure of is one thing. The referral to the “Comms people” and “the firm” has been whispered down through the ages. And their shadow covers every single woman who has ever dared to enter the Royal family.
Especially those that don’t play exactly…
When thrown into the first lockdown last year, I decided to do something I’d been thinking about for a long time.
I decided to volunteer at the UK-based mental health charity Woking Mind in Surrey.
I’d always felt slightly guilty about not giving back. Having had my own experiences with poor mental health — and having run my own mental health blog ‘Blognitive Therapy’ for some time — I thought perhaps I could help out.
The role was calling a few people a week, and having a chat with each of them for an hour or so.
Some people were…
Competition is healthy. At least that’s what we’re told. But so often we aren’t taught just how to deal with out competitive sides.
Unless trained, another person doing better than us in our chosen field is apt to drive us wild with frustration.
There is of course the sports mentality. But it boils down to this. Be better, jump higher, run quicker.
When it comes to actual real-life competition, it rarely is so simple. People the world over push themselves to an early grave trying to beat their competition. Whether that grave is for themselves, or their business, it depends.
When set adrift
In a sea of luminous faces
Joined hands and lingering hugs,
You hide your face from me
Drift past Leave gaps
A silence less golden
Than anything left
In this material world.
Dirty and shameful
Empty and pointless
A gift of misunderstood
A desolate wasteland
When an answer is all
Some sort of closure
This will not come to
Who will never be
I have chosen to hide
My face from you
But truth comes from
An empty bottle, and
Again, I wear
I don’t want to get all TLC on everyone’s ass (a la No Scrubs) but I think it is time.
When I had a bad breakup in 2019, I made myself a playlist called ‘Bad Bitch’. I filled it with songs by female artists. The unofficial rule was that I could only fill it with empowering feel-good songs. I also ruled out any songs about men. And songs written or sung by men.
I love this playlist. I still do. It leaves me feeling strong and happy. I run to it, listen before a night out. I’ve used it to…
Self-help is a big market. Like you, I’ve felt the pull of varying authors proffering a solution to life’s big questions. I’ve spent much time and money devouring those words, and felt the creeping overwhelm that comes with information overload.
All we’re really looking for is something that cuts to the heart of what it means to live!
No morning routines or complicated plan. Just simple and easy ideas that help galvanise the mind and boost confidence.
You want lightening-bolt moments and eye opening wisdom, right? You want chapters that can be dipped into, again and again. You want words…
Founder & Writer at Blognitive Therapy. Deeply committed to psychology, movement and mental health awareness. Fascinated by pretty much everything else.